Recommended Resources for 2024
A short personal memory + a breif list of antidotes for madness (personal & beyond)
I'm at my college campus in 2010. The main hallway on this floor is unusually empty for late afternoon and the nearby stairwell is equally deserted. I'm standing ten feet in front of the doors to the LGBTQ+ Resource Center, which are propped-open & completely wreathed with pinned flyers as usual.
I take a few soundless slow steps closer, sending the flyers fluttering lightly like restless butterflies until I'm standing just inside the door frame, neither in nor out of either space. I stand perfectly still, listening for any sign of life or laughter drifting down from the interior walkway that winds out of view. Approaching this way feels completely natural to me, despite the tentative sense of panic rising within me threatening to bubble over.
Why wouldn't I listen for the potential threats another person can always present somewhere beyond the silence?
The quiet of the hall spans deeper into the space and to my intense and increasingly desperate focus this seems to fade from benign soundlessness into something heavier and much more present - a quiet seething undertone of rage - a solemn infirmary with no warmth or welcome to spare.
Someone coughs briefly from somewhere much further in, sounding like they're miles away from anyone or anything.
The sense of panic rises within me and bubbles over.
I turn and walk away hurriedly, my rapid heart beat pounding in my feet.
Was I simply imagining things?
Possibly.
In any case who the hell did I think I was, to even think of seeking help?
As if I deserved it.
The common advice you hear when you're seeking out a new therapist is that you should ask someone local you know and trust who's been to therapy. As I've written about before, I used to be part of a (platonic) girlfriend group who had known each other since high school. As of today five of the eight other women in that group have transitioned socially and medically to varying degrees with the process being overseen by therapists that affirm their chosen identities completely. If the others decided they were men tomorrow it would be very easy for them to be immediately affirmed and pipelined into the current approved “treatments”.
Surprised? I live in the Portland, Oregon area.
When I last took the internet’s pulse on gender I noticed several parents were frantically seeking each other out (often within online forums) about a new argument format their daughters were presenting to them. Their teenage daughters were now informing them that their PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) means that they're intersex and even more legitimately trans.
Like many of those confused younger women I also have PCOS. Through hard work and discipline I was able to reduce most of my negative symptoms via diet and exercise lifestyle changes. Some of the side effects of PCOS can be confounding, some can be potentially dangerous if left completely unchecked and many of the most common ones are just highly uncomfortable, deeply personally embarrassing and frequently inconvenient.
So far none of my current physical healthcare providers in this area have tried to pull this shit with me (they seem to have largely lost interest in me as a patient once they realized I wasn't going to willingly become dependent on pills) but it still angers me greatly that younger women are being introduced to this insidious gender bullshit at even younger ages than I was via yet another health condition that can be comorbid with gender nonconformity struggles/issues.
Frog catching being one of my favorite activities when I was seven didn't mean I was trans.
Falling in love with one of my same-sex best friends didn't mean I was trans.
Having PCOS DOES NOT make me or any other women intersex let alone trans.
Online therapy services and registries do not help at all with such an extensive, pervasive environmental mindset.
This one’s a specialist...but are they brainwashed? Are they safe to speak with openly, honestly? I need to be able to do that. Oh..." LGBTQIA+ Friendly " is listed...they’re definitely not safe.
Most therapists within a 100 mile radius of PDX have had waiting lists for new patients since 2019-2020 nevermind if they're willing to meet in person at all. Many other areas are facing similar problems.
Nobody in my position can afford to spend time, money and effort on securing a therapist in this kind of societal atmosphere only to end up trusting someone who's going to quietly decide for themselves either out of cowardice or zealotry that "helping" means amending the fact that the world's newest faith "missed one".
All of this would make for endless dark comedic entertainment if it wasn't also so potentially dangerous to individuals and the future of civilization at large.
Fortunately, there are a growing number of good resources out there:
I heard about Critical Therapy Antidote from The Radical Center podcast back in August of this year and after some correspondence back and forth I was able to get back into therapy with someone who I could trust not to try to convince me of something insane (ie you're a really a man trapped in a woman's body, etc.)
If you do message them, be sure to be direct and polite about what kind of mental health treatment(s) you're looking for and/or issues you believe you’re dealing with.
They will also need to know your geographical location so they may be able to help point you in the correct direction. They may also be able to direct you to appropriate online services depending on your situation.
Choosing Therapy.com has a robust library of articles regarding common mental health & wellness topics
Crappy Childhood Fairy: Apolitical Youtube channel that exclusively focuses on managing ‘complex’ PTSD resulting from long term neglect and/or abuse during childhood. I've personally found parts of her Daily Practice techniques useful (a resource she offers completely for free on her site, always linked in her video descriptions) Her channel is also where I learned the very useful grounding question of: "What am I avoiding right now?"
NickWignall.com: Licensed psychologist giving practical, evidence-based advice for emotional health and wellbeing in a convienent format. He also has a book specifically written to help people find fruitful therapy from the perspective of a therapist.
Doctor Ramani: Youtube channel that focuses on aspects of narcissism as a resource for survivors in videos ranging from 6-16 min and 20-50 min chunks.
We Are Tramatized Motherfuckers: An independent Spotify show hosted by an abuse survivor named ' Jess ' that goes over CPTSD in 15-30 min in-depth segments (fair warning - she is a leftist though it doesn’t frequently come up). Since she is currently a college student she has frequent access to new research materials regarding CPTSD, trauma and dysfunctional human psychology which can be interesting.
For other people who also feel the present day LGBTSandwich+"community" isn't a space for them anymore:
LGB Alliance USA: This is one of my favorites. They are an organization exclusively focused on safeguarding the rights of LGB individuals. They are also active in the UK.
Genspect.org is a good source of support & resources for families being strained by modern gender ideology. Parents of gender questioning/non conforming teens should find them especially compassionate and supportive.
The list presented here isn’t exhaustive - it’s just all of the sources I’ve found the most consistently helpful myself (aside from the still-existing Disaffected podcast, that is). I hope they may be useful to you too.
All my writing energy since September has been going to my therapist so it’s good to be back in here.
Until next time be mindful and be well, I’m sure we’re all in for another wild ride this trip around the sun.
~ Viv